My grandfather passed away many years ago. He was the son of a carpenter who immigrated from England to Vermont. He grew up learning his father’s craft as well as becoming an accountant for a large company. He met and married my grandmother, my last living grandparent, who was born and bred a Boston Catholic. My grandfather learned (after his father died) that he was never baptized. I think this was a huge shock to my Papaw. He knew he did not grow up in a particularly religious household however it turns out that neither he nor his father ever received the sacrament of baptism. This terrified my grandmother and she began a lifelong campaign with my grandfather to join their parish of St. Columban’s RCIA group. My grandfather, for reasons unknown to me, refused to do it. I think a part of him spent his time and money supporting St. Columban and being with my grandmother there and he did not feel like he needed to do anything more...sort of a “God will understand” type mentality. After his death, my dad told me he felt it was because my Papaw didn’t want to stand at the Easter Vigil as a spectacle to the whole parish. Fair enough.
My grandfather always made sure that his grandchildren felt special and he and my grandmother would try to attend every dance recital, school play, and sports event that we participated in. My Papaw was known to cry when he would attend these things. I could not open my mouth and sing one note or walk onto a stage without tears falling from his blue eyes. As he got older, I noticed he cried more often and everything that made his heart happy. He didn’t take so much for granted and he and my Nana stopped arguing with each other. They were sweet and gentle with one another and I knew something was different. His heart was changing. So was his body. It was cancer. And it was time to come to Jesus as they say.
It’s never too late to receive sacraments. Never. People assume that if they do not receive baptism, communion, and/or confirmation at the prescribed time in Catholic religious education programming that they miss the opportunity. This is simply not true. When my Papaw finally agreed to the RCIA program, he already had full blown prostate cancer and he was past 80 years old. He worked with a coordinator that looked remarkably what I think Jesus might have really looked like and his pastor, an outgoing, very tall man, that made my Papaw feel comforted and protected in his fragile, vulnerable state. The pastor agreed to allow my Papaw to receive his sacraments of initiation at a daily Mass in the small, stained-glass chapel. It was a cold January evening when I made the familiar trek into the little town of Loveland, Ohio. When we arrived the next day at the chapel, I could tell my Papaw was nervous and he began to cry without stopping which made me cry without stopping. There in my presence and in the presence of all those that loved him, my grandfather was baptized, received his first communion, and was anointed in confirmation. I sat directly behind him and I can still smell the perfumed oil on his head and see the tears of bittersweet joy rolling down his face. Jesus was there that day, I assure you. A year later, that same pastor would also give my grandfather the sacrament of the anointing of the sick, his death rite, and would lead his funeral and burial service. What a beautiful memory I have when I walk into St. Columban! I experienced all of my grandfather’s sacraments and his funeral in that place.
When my Papaw was dying, he pulled each grandchild into his ICU room alone and spoke his final words to us. Here is what he said to me, his eldest grandchild, that day: never forget who is here with you in this world helping you to raise your son. Keep people around you that love you and your son, that is all that matters. I had just married my husband at that point and I knew what my Papaw was trying to say through all the pain and the tubes and the inevitable tears: you have fought your whole life to protect yourself from being hurt..let people in...let God in...see who loves you and recognize it in their words and actions. Don’t wait to tell them how much you love them. Never hesitate to grab your children and remind them that you are special to you. Tell your new spouse that you appreciate him coming into your life and loving both you and your son. You are a family now. I am so proud of you and I can leave this world knowing you are taken care of. I imagine this might have been what Mary’s father said to her when she told him about her pregnancy and Joseph’s willingness to take her in and make her his wife. Did Mary’s father tell her to keep Joseph close because he is a good man and will take care of you and the baby?
I don’t know why his conversion to this life of faith took so long but I would imagine Jesus’ intervention to my Papaw’s heart and head started many years ago. Fear and feelings of unworthiness kept him from making the big leap sooner but the reality of death and wanting to make it right is one of the most admirable traits I can share about my Papaw. He did it for himself but he also did it for my Nana...to put her fears about what would happen to him if he wasn’t baptized at the time of his death to rest. It was an incredibly powerful journey of faith he took and I am honored to have been a witness. It was hard to watch a man that had served as our patriarch suffer in such a cruel, painful way but, in a way, it was also beautiful to watch a man, once gruff and full of business acumen, to melt away to the tough exterior and become fully open to God’s divine plan for his life.
On his special day, I gave my Papaw a beautiful, hand-crafted wooden cross to signify his new life in Jesus, the Savior, a carpenter just like him.When he died, my Nana returned it to me so that I might keep it in my home. Today, in communion with my Papaw and all the Saints and on this Good Friday, I ask you to find your special cross and meditate on this Litany of the Holy Cross.
Lord, have mercy. R. Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy. R. Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy. R. Lord, have mercy.
Christ, hear us. R. Christ, graciously hear us.
God the Father of Heaven, R.Have mercy on us. (after each phrase)
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
God the Holy Ghost, our Advocate,
Holy Trinity, one God,
Holy Cross whereon the Lamb of God was offered, R.Save us, O Holy Cross
Hope of Christians,
Pledge of the resurrection of the dead,
Shelter of persecuted innocence,
Guide of the blind,
Way of those who have gone astray,
Staff of the lame,
Consolation of the poor ,
Restraint of the powerful,
Destruction of the proud,
Refuge of sinners,
Trophy of victory over Hell,
Terror of demons,
Mistress of youth,
Succor of the distressed,
Hope of the hopeless,
Star of the mariner,
Harbor of the wrecked,
Rampart of the besieged,
Father of orphans,
Defense of widows,
Counsel of the just,
Judge of the wicked,
Rest of the afflicted,
Safeguard of childhood,
Strength of manhood,
Last hope of the aged,
Light of those who sit in darkness,
Splendor of kings,
Civilizer of the world,
Shield impenetrable,
Wisdom of the foolish,
Liberty of slaves,
Knowledge of the ignorant,
Sure rule of life,
Heralded by Prophets,
Preached by Apostles,
Glory of Martyrs,
Study of hermits,
Chastity of virgins,
Joy of priests,
Foundation of the Church,
Salvation of the world,
Destruction of idolatry,
Stumbling block to the Jews,
Condemnation of the ungodly,
Support of the weak,
Medicine of the sick,
Health of the leprous,
Strength of the paralytic,
Bread of the hungry,
Fountain of those who thirst,
Clothing of the naked,
Lamb of God, Who takest away the sins of the world, R. Spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takest away the sins of the world, R .Hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takest away the sins of the world, R. Have mercy on us.
Christ, hear us. R. Christ, graciously hear us.
Lord, have mercy. R. Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
V. We adore Thee, O Christ, and we bless Thee,
R. Because by Thy Holy Cross Thou hast redeemed the world.
[Together] Behold the Cross of the Lord! Begone ye evil powers!
The Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered! Alleluia!
Let Us Pray.
O God, Who for the redemption of the world, was pleased to be born in a stable and to die upon a cross; O Lord Jesus Christ, by Thy holy sufferings, which we, Thy unworthy servants, call to mind: by Thy Holy Cross, and by Thy death, deliver us from the pains of Hell, and vouchsafe to conduct us whither Thou didst conduct the good thief who was crucified with Thee, Who livest and reignest eternally in Heaven. R. Amen.
Sweet the wood, sweet the nails,
sweet the Burden which thou bearest,
for thou alone, O Holy Cross,
Was worthy to bear the King and Lord of Heaven.
R. Amen.