Right around New Year’s Eve 2019, I read an article suggesting that instead of a resolution, I pick a word that was compelling and speaking to me to take forward into 2020. That day I chose the word
resilient. I had no idea how much I would be clinging to this word in 2020 and we are only a quarter of the way through the year!
The word
resolution means a firm decision to do or not to do something. It comes from Latin meaning to loosen or release. The word
resilient means to be able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions and its roots are also from Latin meaning to leap back. So when I resolved to use the word resilient to inspire me in 2020, what I really meant was GOD: I am releasing myself of the past and making a firm decision to withstand difficult conditions and leap back from the anxiety and fears that get in the way of me loving YOU and loving others the way YOU love me. God knew what I needed to prepare me for this new age of COVID-19 and what I must do to survive these difficult conditions. So before I go on: THANK YOU GOD. One word in my heart, placed there by You in our prayer time together months ago, was just what I needed to leap back into Your arms and trust that You are near.
As we continue on our Lenten journey, living with resiliency is understanding and accepting that we can be loved for who we are not what we do. While the world is asking us to stop and stay inside, can I open my heart to the words of Psalm 46:10: Be still and know that I am God? What happens when we are still? How can the stillness build up my resolve to be resilient? What do I do first? How do I begin? Love God. That’s it. Just love. Sit in the stillness of the love. Let it be a part of every cell in your body and every hair on your head. Once you are in that love, ask yourself, what is it that I am afraid of during this time of uncertainty? Name it. Say it out loud. If I come to name the fear, my answer would be I’m afraid of me or my loved ones getting sick and dying. I am afraid of the grief that might be coming. I am afraid of the darkness.
Okay…now I’ve named it…I can’t let it consume me. So what will I do with it? What must I do to recover from each moment of doubt and fear and leap back to reality? Deacon David told me once: In isolation, we can convince ourselves of anything. I have repeated that statement many times to others and it reminds me that if I stay in my head too long trying to figure out what to do and how to survive on my own, I am not to finish the marathon because my endurance will be gone and my resilience will fade away.. If I have learned anything while meditating on our annual parish theme
Jesus the Life, it is that living in God’s love means I do not need to be afraid. Sometimes in the middle of the chaotic stream of fear, I remember: Jesus went before me to conquer death and uproot fear. If I believe in Christ and love God, I know that death and sickness are here and a part of the world and I am saved, not from COVID-19 and its effects, from the fear and immobility that come from the grips of darkness. I can offer up my fears and anxieties and ask God to come and unite with me.
“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” (Mt 11:28-30)